Selamat Hari Raya.

Selamat Hari Raya, friends & family.

This post wasn't supposed to be a Hari Raya post. I'm not really in the mood to talk about it. I have something to blog about but then again I don't know if I could. I've been quiet all this while and today's the point where I experience emotional breakdown. You may see me as normal as I was but deep down me, I'm pierced. I really am. Today was supposed to be a happy & enjoyable day. Too bad I wasn't part of it. Whatever I am about to babble here is what happen long ago which still happen in the present day. I never thought I am involve in this matter. I never wanted all this. Now not then. It turned wild ever since I asked for one thing from him. You know what. He wasn't happy with what I intended so, he went all over me. I am confused up until today. This very year I asked if he could stop text-ing me as I don't want to fall for him anymore. And guess what, he was mad for sure. I am the one who have to bare all the abusive words from him and yet he says he love me. Puh-lease. I can't stand the way he act so, I refused to be his friend. Don't guess no more cause I know you know what happen next. A few days back, we had an ugly fight. He wants revenge. I am willing to make him do that but he didn't. Too bad, doesn't it? Today, he asked for my apology, how ironic because the day before he was saying he hated me with exclamation mark. That doesn't sound so abusive, no? You have no idea. I have to bare all this just because I asked for us to break & not text-ing & not being friends. I knew he and his friend were talking about how stupid I am and how he was wrong for loving me. I deleted them from my friends lists and yes, they were pissed, I guess. Do I look like I care? I am not a thing you guys could talk about and be nice to when you guys feels like to. I would trade anything for this. I hate them for the rest of my life. I promise. It's up to you to judge me but, I know who I am. My friends do. I'm nothing like he said, I knew this but I cried because I never knew that's the way they look at me all this while. This happened since last year and I am shocked I could bare all this shits. Everything is beyond me. I'm tired of being quiet and settle. I let him say words I didn't want to hear, I kept myself silent, I didn't fight back and still he wants to win. He wants me. I don't want you. Thank you. Eh, before i forgets, think twice before having thoughts of wanting to be my friend because I am si kejam & si pemusnah hidup according to him. Really? I am? I never knew. My friends never told me that. And yes, he said I was like some kind of Satan. If anyone have the same thought as him, just tell me. I don't want to be Satan. LOL. Sigh. I'm not trying to make people hate people here but, I just couldn't stand this anymore. I don't know who to turn to. I just don't know. And to people who hate me now, I just don't give a damn. I'm tired of being nice and all. Suit yourself. Delete me from your friend lists if you have no plan to be nice or talk to me. That would've been good.

 I hate being emotional. It felt so wrong. Like everyone is pointing fingers on you and says "We hate you". Whatever happens, I have no other options than pretending to be happy. So.. And I would like to acknowledge Rina ;) Me love your blog. Write more.