Menstrual pain.

Honestly, I'm not having menstrual pain right now, but I just did moments ago. While I was online , I watched this K-pop Hitz on TV. There were a group of ladies dancing like so hot the boy's dick would melt. Hahaha. That wasn't even funny. They dance like their hips would fall off. So, I wondered, what if they have menstrual pain, can they dance like that? I mean, it looked painful even if they don't have it. I can't imagine eh girls with period pain dancing like that. O my gosh, they would die! The menstrual cycle itself is already a trouble, don't mention the pain-lah kan? And by trouble, I mean, the usage of sanitary napkins. Apu. We have to constantly change it and dispose it at the right place. And for me or maybe other girls, going for a camp or vacation are hell when we're having this cycle. Like hell yeah. Hahaha. And what is unacceptable is that some girls think they can dispose it however they like. For example, leaving it in the toilet still with the stain on. I've seen it all. It's a nightmare! Anyways, some girls are more sensitive or aggressive when they go through this cycle. I don't know why and I'm lazy to know why. Hahaha. 

You go Google about it.   

Bullshit?

This is fucking true. I'm sick of being good cause all I get is bullshit. Like seriously. I have no life, no nothing. So, why bother being good? Fuck you. Hahaha. I know I know, I sound like a bitch, but what the hell, I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm just disturbed by my thoughts. I no longer smile to strangers. I don't even look up when I walk cause I think the floor is nicer than human beings. Besides, they're shining. I can see my reflection which I don't know is good or bad. Hahaha. I hate when I look like I got no life at shopping complexes , but I honestly have none. So.. Hahaha.

Well, I just can't. Maybe I'm not meant to live. I mean, I was made to kill myself. Hahaha. OMG, that was stupid. I just can't handle life. I'm so used to worry about what others say or think. Damn, yea, damn me. I was once so down that I even cry my ass out when I pray for help. Yes, I did. Hahaha. I was trying to be consistent in doing that you know, the praying, but I was beam to be the devil again. So, yeah, here I am, blogging when actually God is the one who's gonna help me actually. Boo me!

I'm just gonna rewrite the things written here cause I think its to small. Don't you think? So, here you go.

 I am not confident. I know I am smart, but not in the ways that count. I read people much better than book, but I never have the words to explain my findings. I'm only as funny as I feel and I don't think I'm pretty. I sometimes walk with my head down. My posture is terrible. I think horrible things about people and I let my emotions get the best of me. I'm really not as nice as I'd like to be or as innocent as you'd think I am. I am a perfectionist. I am a contradiction to everything I want to stand for. I'm a big dreamer with little motivation. I am really no good at all, on my own, but I am analytical with myself. And I don't understand how anyone could ever be cocky or proud when they are aware of all the disgusting things that they think and do, but no one knows. We're all broken enough to be humble.

I can really relate with this, you know. Why am I telling you this again? You don't give a damn. Hahaha.

I need to do this more. Fucking serious.

Eastwood Valley Golf & Country Club.

The title itself is enough, but I wanted to add a little drama to it so, that explains the image above. Hahaha. Believe it or not, I worked there last Sunday. Hui Ung called late at night and asked me whether I want to take the job or not. I was like,'Ermmmm, takda org hanta sy ba.' Because I thought the next day was Monday. So I hang up and told my dad. And then he said,'Kerjalah. Papa hanta.' I was still not sure and answered,'I ekot papa go sekolah pas dat papa hanta go Servay?' Then my dad was like,'=____________=?' Hahahaha. After that he mentioned about not going to church again, then I became,'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, esok Ahad!' So, I called Hui Ung back and told her I'll work.   I was quite nervous cause it was my first job after about 4 years not working in the outside world. I worked with my aunt when I was in Form 1, at the night market. I don't know why I worked anyway. Hahaha. Okay, back to the story, I started to ask what to wear and stuff to Hui Ung. She also told me that Bong Cing Mang and Jong Soon Teck will be working together so, it was a deal. I went to see Hui Ung at Servay Morsjaya the next day although my house is closer to Eastwood because the van will picked them up there and I wanted to be with them. I was nervous for God's sake. Hahaha. 

It started well. My friends did well in making me feel comfortable because surprisingly, there were quite a few Lopeng-ians there. They told me what to do and what not. It was easy working with friends and I was lucky because the function was a buffet. All I had to do was serve them with beverages, refill when their glass is empty or half, take the plates away when they're done and just be polite. It was tiring, my hands hurts from carrying the jugs around, picking up the plates from the tables to the back, my back hurts because we can't sit during the whole function and I was hungry having to smell the aroma of the cuisine. Uh. But, everything was fun and memorable, I guess. I would like to work there again sometimes, but not always because I just figured out that it was not really my thing. I don't like doing that, however, its fun. So..

Get a life, will you?

That title is specially for me. I really need to get a life. I got nothing to do besides doing the chores. A girl my age at this very era don't really like chores. Seriously. Going online everyday makes online boring. Ugh. Why is everything so boring? O my Gosh. And what am I suppose to write today? Uh uh, the other day I read a few blogs which I saw they wrote this 30 facts about themselves. So, that gave me an idea. I'll write mine.

1. My full name is Adeline Marcia Along Ak Michael. Alright? My families don't call me Adt like my friends do. They call me Achia. I don't know where they got that. Maybe from the Marcia or my mum's nickname back then which is Achee, specially made by my dad. There's another nickname which only certain people are comfortable with it. I think my dad likes to call me by that name which is Girl. Its very rare to hear him call me Achia. I think. I'm not really sure. Hahaha.

2. I am the only daughter in the family, but I don't act like one. I am described as rough, ill-mannered, outrageous, ungracious and snappish. I, myself don't know why I act that way. Maybe all I need is attention. But, I'm not seeking for one now. I hate attention as I grow older. And I am ungracious only with my brothers. No one else. 

3. I am pretty messy. My room is one great example of my messiness. Ironically, I am a neat freak when I'm somewhere else. No kidding. Sometimes, I just wonder what got into me. I don't throw my clothes everywhere if I'm in a camp or staying in hotels or sleeping over at relatives house. Well, who would? Hahaha. Oh, messy rhymes with lazy kan? I am both. Hahaha. What was the rhyme about anyway? 

4. I'm very much the 'fit-in' type of person. I try to fit-in most of the times in many occasions. Sometimes I failed, sometimes I do well. 

5. I can eat anything as long as it looks edible. Its just the matter of me wanting to eat it or not. Most of the time, I don't. Hahahaha. But, if I tried certain food once, I'll crave for more. For example, belacan. O my Gosh, I just have to dig in. I'll not stop until I finish it.

6. However, I dislike cakes. Like, seriously. Cakes just don't attract me in many ways. But, I wish one cake can change my perspective towards cakes. I haven't found one. I've tried many times to like cakes, but I'm just not buying it. I hate mints too. Ugh. Sometimes, they make me sick. You know, the asthma and stuff.

7. I worry so much about little things. You know, about what others think about me, the words I say, the way I present myself and so much more. My life is all about what others think about me. I'm never happy. No kidding. Hahaha. 

8. I hate last minute changes. Especially when plans were made days or weeks before.

9. I also hate to disappoint people. If I do, I'll have it in my mind for the rest of my life. Literally. Hahaha. But, I tend to forget stuff these days. So, perhaps this fact is just a myth after all. Hahaha.

10. I cry easily. But, I don't when I'm with families and friends. I don't know why. I cry when I read a book, watch TV or listen to sad stories. You know, girls. We cry about everything. Hahaha.

11. I don't like chaos, fights and party.

12. I'm easily annoyed. And when I'm annoyed, you'll hate me for the rest of your life. And I get really annoying when I'm excited. I'm just all the bad things, you know :)

13. I am unfriendly. I am crazy when I'm with my good friends, I admit it, but I tend to stiffen and keep it low when I'm with somebody I've just met and people who are not close to me. If you think I'm arrogant or so, go on. I may look friendly in Facebook or Twitter or Blogspot, but I'm just not in really life. Get it? Haih.

14. I talk to myself all of the time. Its way more fun than you think it is. 

15. I like to laugh a lot. That's when I get really annoying. 

16. I love to dance, but not by improvising or choreographing. All I love to do is dance. You teach, I dance. Understand? Hahaha.

17. I can be really confident sometimes. And impatient too.

  

18. I think I can read minds. Hahaha. But, not literally. Judging by your words or actions. I can really tell what you're thinking. Well, that may be just a lucky guess. Still, I like to think that I can read minds. I feel like some kind of a superhero. Hahaha.

19. I can't have money with me. I'll start thinking about what to buy immediately after I have the money.

20. I like to be on time. If I'm not, there goes my mood. When you said you'll pick me up at 7, I'll be ready at 6. But, if I'm absolutely lazy, I'll be ready half an hour before. 

21. I always think that I need everything. You know the, 'Uh, I might need this' and the 'Ah, just in case' thing. It can get out of control sometimes.

22. I really-really-really hate it when people have the stuff I have. I'll be like, 'How come?!' And I don't like things that everybody wants, like Blackberry or Iphone. I was in love with Blackberry, but it got all the attention already. So, nope, I'm not into it no more.

23. I am very careless, but you can count on me. Seriously.

24. I have this thing in my brain where they tell me everyone hates me. Hahaha. Every single time. I don't know. Maybe its a new deadly disease. I should go and see a few doctors. Perhaps, a psychiatric.

25. I am very thin. Almost as thin as an A4 paper. I don't get it. I am a big-eater. I eat a lot and greedily. I weigh about <40>. This is sad.

26. I am not a morning person. I tend to get all my sickness in the morning. 

27. I am a bad chef. Especially when the food needs to be fried. It'll burn immediately. Hahaha. But, I did cooked recently and I was surprised that I got compliments from my personal chefs which is my mum and dad :) 

28. I like reading English novels. I'll borrow from friends or just make my mum buy one for me.

29. I don't wear make-up, face cream or cleanser, you know, that sort of stuff. I've stop using cleanser last year. So..

30. Things get lost easily when they're with me.

Ah, I guess that's enough. I don't want to scare you off no. Hahaha.

I'm bored to death.

Girl : Babe I dont think I can sleep.

Boy : Why baby?

Girl : I don't know. I need your boring voice to put me to sleep. Wanna tell me a story? Hehehe.

Boy : Hahah, you're lucky that you're cute. How about I read you Dear John.

Girl : Sounds perfect.

- Boy reads Dear John -

- 15 minutes later -

Girl : *snores*

Boy : Babe?

Girl : *snores*

Boy : Hahah, you always knock out within 15 minutes. Your snores are cute. Babe, I really love you. I really do. Sometimes I might show that I dont give a fuck. But I do. I never want to lose you. I know it's cheesy, but this is how I feel. This is REAL. I know I'm not the best thing out there, but I'm trying to be one of your best ever. Thank you babe, thank you for choosing a messed up guy like me to be your boyfriend. Thank you for being mine. I honestly can't see myself with anyone else but you babe. I know I say I love you too many times, but each time I say it, my feeling grows more & more for you. Thanks for listening babe. I'll still be on the phone if you need anything. Goodnight babe & sweet dreams. I won't let the bed bugs bite you.

Seriously, I love this. Ugh, how I wish ..... :) Okay, I got this from Fazz's Craps. Shuqrie's friend I guess. I'm bored to death. I swear. I could fold clothes now, but I prefer not to cause I hate it. I could jog outside, but I'm scared. Ugh. Shit man.

Uh uh, that's me!

I'm sitting in the living room like an old lady. For hours. Can you imagine that?

I am. Really.

I have this one thing I can't explain towards books. I just love them. Well, some of them actually. When I was attending the L2B, I forgot to bring my book. A girl did and I was so jealous. I spent almost 2 hours doing nothing while waiting for the L2B to start. Ugh. Frustrating. 

I always feel that way. I'll be like, 'What am I suppose to do next? T.T'. Not to mention that I actually cry and laugh to every book I read.

UGH, THIS IS SO BORING!

Love.

Uh la la! I haven't talk about love for so many months already. I'm not suppose to at my age but, look around you. Everyone is in love. Sometimes I'll be like, "Okay, everybody's in love, except me!" No-lah. Some people choose to be alone. You know, without problems and commitments. I don't know where I'm at. Sometimes, I wanna be alone but, sometimes I just feel I need someone. I've had someone before but, you know, problems and all. I guess I'll just have to wait for my prince charming. I'm very old-fashioned. I don't know how to make the first move and I don't think I want to. Being in a relationship before really taught me a lot of things. I just hope I don't fall for the wrong person, but if I do, I understand why. I have seen people get frustrated because of love and it's really ill. In fact, I just read a blog all talking about his ex-girlfriend. Some guys are really sweet and loyal. All the guys are but, it's just the matter of how they do it. I seriously have grunge over guys who cheats. Dumb-ass! Really, if any of you feels like cheating, try thinking of your sister or mother being cheated by a guy like you. Hahaha. I'm so emotional. I got so many issues with guys, you know. I just don't trust them. They are full of secrets. Hahaha. Whatever. It'll change when I fall for some random guy like Justin Bieber. Hahaha. Seriously.

However, charming couple like Zac Efron and Vannesa Hudgens really makes me believe that true love exist. They look so good and blissful together. How I wish I were Vannesa Hudgens. I mean, who doesn't?

Oh, don't make me start about Korean boys and all. They're just so beautiful and stunning. Phew!

This is so wrong. Hahaha. Almost a crime.

Sometimes, I just wish I have someone. Haih =_=' 

SHIT.

Driving course.

Ah, I wanna put this as my profile picture in Facebook, but obviously I changed my mind. I don't know what got into me cause I'm so into Justin Bieber's song. Well, I like 'Pray' and 'U smile, I smile' only so, I'm not gonna be worrying about becoming one of the Beliebers.

Anyways, I've been busy with the driving course, I guess. But, I think I've got issues with this course. They're so long, crowded, unorganized and noisy. I'm not gonna talk about the KPP cause it was so last year and so was the table test. What had made me furious was the L2B I attended this morning. Humans were everywhere and they were, you know, being selfish. The room I was in were jam-packed with humans. The institute had to add extra chairs into the room. However, what really surprised me was that majority of the class were elderly. Seriously. It doesn't feel right to me. Hahaha. You know, looking at them, thinking, 'Are you serious?'. Not even half of the room were teens. When a room is crowded with people from all walks of life, you don't expect the room to be in total silent, don't you? For God's sake, they wouldn't stop talking. Especially the man or boys or whatever they are at the back row. I just have to give them my 'annoying stare' when they  act rudely. They were teasing a she-male and it was loud and everyone in the room could hear it. I was happy that no one laugh. They laughed at their own ill jokes. Sick people :) And then there was a couple who probably thought they were in some kind of marriage course or something because they laughed and talked out loud. The aunties in the room hated the couple, especially the woman. Ugh! It was so frustrating, you know? And oh, I really lose it when the institute called all of us to the office to take our Mykad. That office is small. How would the whole crowded class fit in the office? Was it that hard to call people one by one? The room is inside the office. The office table is next to the door of the room. Haih =.='

Okay, whatever! I have to continue the course anyway. So, wish me luck!