Attorney chick.

Guess where I'm at.. 

KOLEJ MAWAR! 

Pfft! Lame gimmick.. For those who don't know what or where is Kolej Mawar, please don't shed tears like it's the end of the world. Kolej Mawar is like in University Teknologi MARA, Shah Alam. It's where the girls stay, I guess. But, there's this block next to ours where I saw and still see men come and go. I don't know. Ask Pak Guard. This college is like the most strict college among all the colleges in UiTM. It's like, no dyed hairs, no tight clothes, no smoking, no fighting and etc. If Pak Guard sees you with all that wrong-doings, he'll sue you. Seriously.. Before I even reached Shah Alam, I imagined the place to be like an apartment. Yes, I'm an exageration-ist.. You know, where you have the place for you and your house mates alone. I was slightly disappointed to find that I'll be staying in a room not a house. I have like 3 room mates. Huda from Kelana Jaya, Nora from Damansara and Aishah from Terengganu or is it Kelantan? Sorry Aishah comel, kite lupe :) Hihihi! They are great plus awesome, alright? Get that right! 

Now, this Ayu, my classmate and Nora, my room mate. Ayu is sweet and nice, trust me. Trust me? Pfft.. Sweeping statement. She gave me her badge because I told them I wanted them so bad. Thanks, Ayu! Nora is like super sweet, okay. She's nice and kind :) And her skin colour, omy, you can see her clearly in the dark. LOL!

 Now now, the one to the left is Huda. And if you're not having eye problem, you'll know next to Huda is Ayu. I took pictures from Ayu's Facebook. I hope she don't mind :) Huda is like different.. I don't know how to describe her. She's super nice to me and to everyone else. She helped her room mates a lot too. Like, she help me sew my torn kurung, dyed Nora's and Ayu's hair black and some unnoticeable stuff she did. She even got herself a senior :D

This is like hours ago. My room mates are all gone to their houses and Aishah is sleeping over her teacher's place or something, so I'm alone. Those two girls, Marlyne and Zaharah came over, but now, Tasha is here with me, accompanying me tonight while I borrow her broadband. I don't have Aishah's picture cause du'h I don't own a camera or a mobile phone with good camera. Maybe next time.

Please tell me you're alive.. I know I just made you bored to death. I got a 1, 2 and 3 for you (please pretend you undertand). Which is ;

1. It has been a week since I last blog and go online.
2. I have a lot to tell.
3.  I'm not gonna be able to update this blog when the class starts.

 Right! Like always, we have to have orientation. They call it Minggu Destini Siswa (MDS). It was okay, but tiring and emotional. By emotional, I meant, you have to do everything in rush with hundreds of people with different kind of attitudes in a week. And mind you, the free meals, sucks.. Seriously! Everything comes with price. So, when you get free meals, you should not expect something tastes like Pizza Hut. Good that I manage to gobble the food..  

The one thing I hate when we have to queue up is that some people don't really understand what it means. 

    queue up - form a queue, form a line, stand in line;  

They definitely took queuing up to the next level. They cut the line, push you here and there and maybe trying to kill you if you don't give way. It was totally annoying! BUT, when I tried to do that, all eyes were on me. I mean, not the pushing or killing-lah. The line cutting. They stared at me like I have sex in public. Ugh.. *eyes rolled

The other thing I hate is people's first impression. I don't know how people see me, but I know how a group of people see me. They were like, saying I'm arrogant,aloud  when they walked right behind me. Dude, look at yourself, if really you wanna talk and be friends with me, talk to me. I don't wanna talk to you because you're mean. I even smiled at you when you and your friends said that, but you were like jeling me. Pfft.. How old are you already? Six? Go play in the playground, please..  I understand if people saying I'm arrogant and stuff, but that's because I don't know how to speak first. That's one of my bad habits.But, thanks to you guys, I'm trying to speak first. And I feel sorry that you guys have to live with your awful self. 

I also notice that people like to talk about you or just hate you for no apparent reason. Like, I was at the dining hall and I saw plus heard my name being mentioned a few times by many different people and they were like looking at me not with a smile on their face. I was like, what the fuck.... At the same time, I'm glad they know my name. LOL! They never did talk to me and already talk about me? Awesome! I heard my name when I went for dinner just now and the whole table was like looking at me, well, some just jeling. Yarabi..... Like seriously, I never did anything that would annoy anyone. I swear. I was quiet all the time. I talk only when people talk to me, laugh when people make jokes, smile when people smile at me. Maybe it was because the dancing stuff. We have to gelek much and you know, girls, they don't like seeing other people gedik. If you wanna be a dancer, gedik is a must. On stage, only. If that's the reason people talk about me, please grow up and accept the fact that you probably hate yourself.

No, not everyone are like them, haters. Most of them are great people. Some are so friendly that I become so comfortable when I'm with them. I love you guys :') And I'm so excited to go to class this coming Monday. Looking forward to it! I must admit I'm starting to like UiTM, Shah Alam. Wish me the best tomorrow because it's 5.40 PM and I have to wake up at 8.00 PM. 

  

What am I?

Great! Everything is back to normal after blogger had problem on Friday the 13th. I mean, the font stuff. Pfft. You have issues.


You know what hurts the most? 
Seeing my dad cries. It was mother's day and we went to church for mass. At the end of the mass, a song dedicated to mothers were played. He was already standing, getting ready to go home, but my mum cried and still wanted to stay there until the end of the song. It was normal for mums to cry, that's why I didn't felt anything at the moment. I looked at my dad who was standing and he looked at my mum while she was crying. So, he sat back and he puts his hand on his forehead and cried. The moment I saw that, I looked away and cried too. He misses his mother. She's now with God. I was still a little girl when she died. There are times when I wish for her to be here. She must be proud seeing how well his son is doing in raising us all. Not to forget my grandfather too. He must have been my dad's hero. He died too, when I was little. So yeah, I cried with my mum and dad. My mum was shocked to see him crying because she said that she have never seen him cry like that in 20 years of their marriage. My mum didn't know how to console him and so does us, siblings. All I do was cry :'D I get teary every time I remembered this. It hurts a lot to see a tough, stubborn, strict yet loving father cried. I can't... Yes, I'm crying, but I gotta tone down cause my brother is here. It would be weird crying in front of the laptop. I wish I was in my room. Hahaha! After mass, we went to my aunt's to celebrate mother's day. Everyone insist my father to say the prayer and he cried again. He really misses his mum. Yes, I cried too, but I manage to stay cool cause I had to snap some pics. Sigh! I love my dad... My mum too :) 


 Anyways, I'm going to Kuala Lumpur on Thursday and none of my things are pack. I don't know how things go, but I know I'm going on Thursday, buy stuffs on Friday and register on Saturday. I cried the other night cause I know I'm gonna miss my room. I know I'm gonna miss everything here. My parents will definitely miss me too. Hahaha! Perasan~ I can see that in my dad's eyes. Its written all over him. Hahaha sigh! I feel like not going.. Well, at least I'll be there for a year and be back here for months. Better than not at all. And I too hope I can go back here during holiday. I hope.. I also haven't read on Pelembagaan Malaysia  yet as my dad told me to. It is very essential for a Law student =____=

I found something on Foundation of Law at a lot of blogs. I hope it'll come in handy. I'm gonna have to read all that now. XOXO 

This was taken with  my laptop's web cam. Ugly...

My head spinned.

Not literally, but felt like it. I am talking about the head spinning, guys. I slept quite early than I usually do cause I didn't get enough sleep the day before. I had a nice sleep until I moved my head and body to the right. It felt wrong. Wrong, I tell you. I opened my heavy eye lids and the ceiling swayed left to right with high speed. I closed them back hoping it'll stop, but no, it got worst. So, I went back to my last position of sleeping. It stopped! I didn't let the feeling of throwing up get to me. I continued sleeping. And that process keep repeating until I thought I have enough sleep :) That's how a boss sleeps.

I am having anxiety.

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, apprehension, fear, or worry. Some fears and worries are justified, such as worry about a loved one or in anticipation of taking a quiz, test, or other examination. Problem anxiety interferes with the sufferer's ability to sleep or otherwise function. It is noteworthy that teenagers are particularly susceptible to having irritability as a symptom of a number of emotional problems, including anxiety. Anxiety may occur without a cause, or it may occur based on a real situation but may be out of proportion to what would normally be expected. Severe anxiety can have a serious impact on daily life

So, yes, I am. I don't know what cause it. Maybe the fact that I'm going to further study soon. Not in Miri, not even in Sarawak, but in Shah Alam, Selangor. I'm like going to some place in Malaysia and feeling lost already? I need some aspirin, LOL. I respect to those who further study overseas. I almost felt like I don't know what to do or I'm just lazy to do what I'm supposed to do. I'm not ready to go yet. Why can't you make it on July? I mean, I'm still on my holiday mode. It takes time to recover from that mode. Nothing is ready yet. Only the medical check-up. Screwed, I am. FML~ Despite the anxiety, I'm kinda excited. Here comes life. Finally, I have something to do in life. Phew~ I just need to settle few more things. And I hope I don't get any cultural shock or something. Miss Glynis did whisper those to me. She was like, 'There'll be cultural shock!'. That wasn't the exact word she said, but almost there.

I hate myself for this. This? This kind of feeling towards the end of my post. It's like I don't want to write anymore. I know I want to write something, but my mind is elsewhere. Always. I guess I just have to give in this time because none of the house chores are done. Chiao~

The myth is finally, busted!

CLICK RIGHT HERE, HUMAN! I'm just gonna make you read that one more time. You know why? Cause I've said something stupid that actually reflect how unstable I am in making decisions. Or in other word, I'm just screwed. Well, if you're a lazy ass like me, you don't have to cause I'm going to put the sentences back to live in this entry, anyway. You with me? Everything in bold. Get it?

1."Yes, I am going to further study soon. In KML, Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan. They gave me, M001-Sains."

2. "I'm hoping for hayat, fingers cross. I didn't even cross my fingers. LOLZ that's just for showing how bad I want it."

3. "I heard a lot of critics and bad talks about going to matriculation, but I'm following my heart."

4."And after a short thought, I make myself believe I'm not gonna do well in Law."

5. "I have no idea where that came from, but I've already made my decision. Nothing is going to change that. Not even death."

You must be wondering why I said all that was stupid. Easy. Because I've decided to go for Law. Ya ya, bash me with your words all you want. I'm still going *troll face*. I'm gonna do Foundation of Law in UiTM, Shah Alam. Boo ya!

'When you're offered to Matriculation, you're not going to get any offer from UPU.' Ever heard of this myth? Well, its busted! I get both.

Wa cakap sama lu.

Thank God that I will never have to change the size of the font and font, manually. It's all done by whatever technology there is. Or maybe because we're using Opera instead of Google Chrome. I have no idea. As long as I don't have to do that manually anymore, I'm just glad. Or is this just at the moment? Dude, no one cares.

Yes, knowing that you don't even care about that, I've decided to move on. You guys wanna know a little dirty secret? Be ready or you can even be afraid. Whatever suits you best. Here we go... I am liking the language most people in Kuala Lumpur is using. Not to say language-lah, but the slang, I guess. You know the, 'Ah, aku takde mase ah!', 'Kau ah ckp an die!', 'Kau nak ke kene tibai ngn aku?' 'Takyah nak bentak sangat pon.' TROLOLOLOLOL. Yes, that! I too, don't understand why I'm liking that. Maybe I'm bored of klaka S'wak. Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, maybe my hormones is having its mid-crisis. And I'm only going eighteen on November. How is mid-crisis even possible? That, I don't know. Please don't ask me such stupid question. LOLZ. I. Am. Having. Mid-crisis.

I apologize for those who find this entry so confusing. It's not your fault to born that way. TROLOLOL I need to stop this nonsense! Maybe I'm just a confused teen who still needs to figure out what to do in life cause I'm leaving to Matriculation soon. Very soon. A CONFUSED TEEN? Pfft~ I need to fuck myself. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL~

Okay, serious talk! Yes, I am going to further study soon. In KML, Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan. They gave me, M001-Sains. Mary said that they'll let me know whether I'm in hayat or fizikal when I reach there. I'm hoping for hayat, fingers cross. I didn't even cross my fingers. LOLZ that's just for showing how bad I want it. I heard a lot of critics and bad talks about going to matriculation, but I'm following my heart. I hope this brings me good or else I shall kill myself! XD I've read all about the terms and conditions and I just realized I'm putting myself into some kind of disciplinary chamber or something. I'm not good at using words so, don't cry when you don't get what I said. Haha! I was unhappy when I first knew I got matriculation cause I was hoping so much on UPU. D'uh, my first choice was Foundation of Law. How can I be happy after getting offer to do science? Law and science is something different if you haven't notice. So, yeah, I was freaking out the first few minutes because people said that if you're getting an offer from matriculation, you're not gonna get any for UPU. Then I came to terms when I realized that UPU is out on 6th of May and obviously, hoping for what people said was wrong. I thought that I have time before deciding whether or not to go to matriculation. The next day, after having some talk with my parents, I've made my mind. You know what was the decision. How come you not know when you are already reading this? Ok, LOL. And after a short thought, I make myself believe I'm not gonna do well in Law. I have no idea where that came from, but I've already made my decision. Nothing is going to change that. Not even death. Ok, lie. I'm going to Labuan in a few weeks and none of my things are ready. I'm still lying around the house, arguing about having to have the Astro's remote control, going online till dawn, feeling the urge to drive around, going to the mall continuously, wasting money on silly stuff and basically, living a gay life. I must agree when my parents say I'm still too young to go far from home. Labuan is fine. I guess that's one of the reason I'm going. Some of my friends are going, I'm gonna receive allowance and the course is for one year. What more can I ask? Well, I'm gonna ask for an easy life there like, I don't have hard time studying, but that's almost impossible. You don't have to ask about my ambition. It'll not come true if I can't finish my study. So, I'm gonna have to study first, kay? Let us climb the stairs, step by step. LOLOLOL lame~

P/S ; I'm tired of reading about other people's life in the past about not doing the right decision in their studies.

P/SS ; I understand that it is a lesson, but I become confused about my own decision.

P/SSS ; My parents & I bought kain to make baju kurung just now.