Facing The Giant.

no more holiday for me T.T 3 weeks holiday was hell. tomorrow i'm gonna have to face the giant, SMK LOPENG TENGAH =.=. goodness me, i have 4 months left before SPM. what am i suppose to do? arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i have to study-lah kan? *sigh* as usual, there will be assembly tomorrow morning =.= BORING. 

i really don't know what to talk about ;D 

PICTURES TIME!

okay, that is my mum & I ;D i look so ... this picture was taken during the fund rising dinner or something like that-lah.

check out my nostrils ;D LOL. the dinner was quite boring so .... & it was so cold. i even shivered like seriosly ;D i will never wear that dress without tights anymore. 

yerrrrrr. mengakun ;D

now, that cake was actually from Ma Baker but, i told my friends my aunt bake it. it was a huge lie but it wasn't my fault ;D my mum said she asked my aunt to bake so, i said so-lah. LOL. i am so sorry, friends. the lie wasn't actually planned.

i will be lost forever and ever.

FUCK YOU, ME ;)

its been awhile since i updated. well, i have some problems to go online. this 'little' problems started when i wasn't sleepy at all the other day. so, i did my Chemistry homework which wasn't a good idea ;) after awhile, i go online-lah. it was 3 something when i posted something and my aunt saw it so, it became a huge issue since then :) 

i was asking for the Broadband yesterday because i haven't online the whole day. i asked for it nicely but i wasn't lucky enough to be answered nicely. yeah. girls usually cries when they are treated that way so, i did ;D boo me, crying like a baby in my room. normal, no? i wasn't crying because i didn't get the Broadband. i cried because they treat me like i was speaking to the sofas. they always do ;) that situation is normal. its just that i couldn't stand it anymore. ilek ar bro ;D 

i asked for it again tonight and i got lectured. well, it wasn't what i expected at all. i can't believe i was seen that way by them. i thought they knew but they didn't. they don't know what i did at home when they're gone. i did all the chores without complaining. but, when they reached home, it was like i didn't do anything ;) gees. whatever. i don't know how to proof to this people anymore. i never will i guess ;) it has been years they still treat me the same. from the elders to the youngsters. from grandma's to grandchildren. i just have to listen but, sometimes i think i need to fight for my dignity. they don't know me, they don't see what i did, they just talked ;) whatever, people. i'm always emotional but i'm used to it already so, WAKA WAKA EY EY ;D 

 yeah. that's the emotional part okay ;D let's be jolly now. i went to the cinema today. Arig wanted to watch Toy Story 3 =.=" at first, i was like 'sigh'. but, what the hell? I LIKE IT SO MUCH. i almost cried watching that movie. it was so sad when Andy gave his toys to Bonnie but it's worth it ;) sobs. salutation to the film maker. anyway, there's a few shitty in the cinemas hall. no-lah ;D sukati aku mdh org jak. nak saman, menggelepar. saman indh ;D. there's this baby cryinggggggg in the hall during the movies =.=" why bring baby? it was so loud in the hall yet the mum didn't bring the baby out. luckily, i didn't throw my popcorn at her. LOL. some guys sitting in front of us was trying to show-off their Iphone. gees =.=" not into Iphone, guys ;D

okay, alright. i have some issues with Sugarbun. LOL. not really. its just the workers =.= they're weird. they laughed, talked like i wasn't there standing to order foods. gees. i was like 'excuse me, excuse me.' i'll fire you if i'm Donald Trump ;D

MY HOMEWORK IS PROGRESSING BUT NOT FINISHED YET

WHATEVER COMES TO ME, I MUST REMEMBER TO..

PICTURES ;)

okay, that was just us being silly. LOL. this pictures were taken just before the holiday, on Thursday. we are mean, so we did this ;D seriously, we don't care. HAHA. but, i have to censored the 'thingy' cause it might be an issue ;D

this is Lassi. i don't like it at all ;D this is an Indian drink. a yogurt i think. HAHA. i didn't finish it, my dad did. you only can have this in Banana Leaf kot. if you dare, go and try ;) who knows you might like it.

ohh, this is Nasi Lemak in Banana Leaf too. it's edible-lah . go and try ;) 

yeah, this is an empty plate ;D ate Roti Telur in Banana Leaf AGAIN. i finished it. MIRACLE. LOL.

this is weird =.="

AHHHHHHH ;) 

AVEAN in her Bidayuh costume. she looks so cute, omygosh. HAHA.

this, i don't know why its here =.="

NIGHT

CH CH CHECK IT OUT.

CHECK MY BLOG OUT ;D

blogspot is advancing so, i do not need to worry about changing to Tumblr ;D i might want to have a Tumblr account but, not at the moment. 

CHECK THAT PICTURE OUT ;D

O MY GOD :|

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh GOSH ;D i re-read my older post and you know what? ITS THE LAME-ST THING I'VE EVER READ ALL MY LIFE *exaggeration* LOL. like seriously. what the heck was i thinking? =.=" gees. scary much.

notice the header, hah? LOL. it was random so, WHATEVER.

i am in a glum state ;) and i don't know why. every time i'm in a car, i'll start thinking and feel miserable. i should not go into a car, maybe a private jet would make things better ;)

i hate that feeling where everything that comes to you make you feel bad. i'm lucky i never shed tears in front of anyone or else i have to answer questions which i don't have the answer to. i seriously have no idea.

 T.T

OKAY. enough with emotions there ;D 

let's talk about me being single ;D yerrrrrrrrrr. KENJA. it was hard at first and still hard today but i know i have no other choice so, i'll live with it. its been awhile since we break up and i'm glad i'm still alive. LOL, joking. sometimes i feel like going back to him but i keep holding back because i know i will regret that. i do love him (anyone who's reading, please do not puke) but, when thinking of our HUGE problem i became 'okay, you and him should be friends and that's it.' so, yeah. thank God i'm friends with him and he understand what stands ahead of us if we're still together.

PRAISE THE LORD ;D

OKAYYYYY.

what else should we talk about?

nothing.

I NEED TO BE HAPPY ;(

DAMN IT ;)

as i said previously, i went out today. i waited for my father to pick me up at home. i reached Bintang Mega Mall at 2 in the afternoon =.=" i don't like coming late especially in the afternoon. i like going to the mall approximately at 11 - 12 ;D or else i don't have the mood. yeah, i'm a freak. LOL. 

anyways, did nothing much just now. ate at McDonald. Double Cheese Burger, baby! ;D and that's quite it. i was alone after friends went back =.="

i was walking and walking and walking until i felt like vomiting. seriously. so, i bought Sundae Cone and sat all alone on a seat near *i don't know the name* ;D it was fun watching people passing by. but, there's this woman who i think is quite weird =.=" she bought Sundae Cone too and she enters *i don't know the name* several times. walked passed me few times. looking at *i don't know the name* stuffs a couple of times and i was like 'is she alright?'. she doesn't look alright to me but i just don't care ;D LOL. yeah, and a man was looking at me like 'what is she?' and i was like 'what are you looking at? idiot!' he keep on looking at me! i was like 'SHIT YOU, MAN. WHAT ARE LOOKING AT?!' if i could, i would throw my Sundae Cone right in his face. 

P/S : LOOKING AT SOMEONE LIKE YOU'VE SEEN AN ALIEN IS RUDE!

i know i'm ugly but i don't enjoy people looking at me.

ANYWAY

i walked a few times in the mall. over and over and over again. i think people who worked there recognized me already =.=" the security guard was keeping an eye on me cause i walked passed his 'zone' like a thousand times. i don't care. i put a 'do i look like i'm gonna steal?' face. but, i guess the management pay him good cause he put his 'i'm keeping an eye on you, kid' face. LOL. W-E WHATEVER, Security ;D U-Me has this fancy lights on the floor. it's reflected i guess =.= I DON'T KNOW but people love it. they stop there and stomped on the lights. especially kids. i was surprisingly distracted and happens to stomped on the lights too ;D but, i don't really show it or else people will go 'girl, how old are you?'. 

LOL

i spot a couple when i was 'strolling'. they are both sweet. i was watching them walking, holding hands, laughing then i decided to go to Bata. HAHA. yeah. i found a very attractive slipper ;) i'm gonna buy that. MAYBE. i ain't got $. 

I HAVE TO GO TO BED
I'M SORRY I CAN'T EXAGGERATE MORE

:D

  

blog.

i know a blog has to have some sort of information but, not in my blog ;D

my blog is where i post random thoughts so, i'm sorry if anyone happens to stumble unto my blog and finds it very 'unthoughtful'.

HAHA

right. i just found out that i am a night blogger ;D cause i usually blog at night (is that even necessary?) i haven't had anything in mind to blog but whatever. who knows i might come out with something? ;)

yeah, i've been struggling to finish my homework. i don't know why it's so hard for me to do the damn homework. when i'm done with one question, i go and watch tv. it happens over and over again. i couldn't figure out why =.=" i have tons of Chemistry homework and i haven't even touch it. gees, an achievement hah? 

LOL

i think i should use 'LOL' rather than 'HAHA' 

'HAHA' is to 'loud'. perhaps 'LOL' sounds polite.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i asked permission from my dad to go out tomorrow and i don't know if it is a yes. i am hoping for a yes but if it is a no, i'll try not to cry. LOL. kidding. i'm not gonna cry over than kind of thing =.=" maybe i might but no, i shouldn't.

i was trying to read few blogs but they didn't update so, i decided to blog ;) i saw someone's blog and i still don't like that person as a person ;D yeah, like anyone cares!

anyway, i think i'm addicted to a game in Facebook. after leaving Farm ville, Pet Society, Barn Buddy and all, i've decided to play Baking Life. its FUN eh ;D but, i'll be able to play that during the holidays only. 

 LOL

and by the way, i have to attend tuition =.=" starting this Saturday. OMG. i have never gone for a tuition before. i am completely nervous :O SERIOUSLY. whatever it is, i have to go cause my semester results are so busted.

yeah.

i'm gonna end this here cause its two in the morning

re-blog.

let me merepak by myself ;D

okay, i've seen many different kinds of blogs and they have many things going on their blogs. for example, the Chat box or whatever they call it. i can't have that cause i'll hurt myself ;) i know no one would chat with me so i decided not to have the Chat box. HAHA. 

wth? 

yea yea, cut that crap.

i just realized my face up there, at the header, the center one, looks so weird ;D weird & funny. what was i thinking when i took that picture? it looked so =.=" no words can describe. HAHA. that bad? yeah. 

i wanted to cut my hair but i wanna keep it long. i never had long hair since Form 1. anyway, i look so ugly with short hair. i will still look ugly in many ways ;D pity me. but, i can't stand the length of my hair now. always sweating. 'Malaysia is so hot', you know? ;D apu. i'll keep my hair long, i don't care ;) my so-call-fringe is so hideous. HAHA. i hate that guy who trim my fringe that day. if you don't know how to cut, stay at home! gago jak. look at what you have done. disaster. HAHA. 

DRAMA QUEEN

what else do i have to say? 

ah ah, i'm out ;)

MARI KITA MINUM PETANG!

i need an angel :')

i seriously need someone to talk too. an angel.

i've been keeping things to myself for to long

and i'm tired of being alone

i once have someone to talk to but it's never about my life & my feelings. its always about us. i understand that but i think i had enough of that. now, i'm completely alone and i don't mean to sound so emo here ;D anyway, i was sitting quietly in the car while my dad's driving and i started thinking about my pasts. it ain't pretty at all. i need to blurt out all my sorrows and thoughts all this years. but i just can't cause i know no one would help ;) i need to sort out things for myself, talk to myself & be friend with myself. perhaps, an angel would want to help me. yea, right! it ain't happening ;D i've been trying to talk to humans about this but maybe they don't really understand what i'm trying to say because i come from Venus. especially you Clinton Chua ;) i know you're trying to help, asking me if i'm okay or not after reading my blog =.=" i am okay but sometimes i'm not. like now. i am not okay but when you text me i'm okay cause i told everything to my blog ;) well, not everything. this is the reason why i create a blog. because i always have emotional breakdown ;D but, i don't think its really working, though. OMG, i sound so pathetic. i always do ;D gees. i cannot understand why i have no confidant. i just cannot UNDERSTAND ;D maybe i'm bad or rude or boring or quite or retarded or stupid or ugly or you know, all the bad things ;D i've been thinking about myself. why no one would be my confidant? i can't find the answers ;) i just can't. i admit my past was ugly but i know i've changed. maybe i don't deserve a confidant. maybe i was meant to live alone, decaying ;D ugh. whatever life God gives me i'll live it through ;)


ANYWAY
my mum says i fail my History paper =.=" and i was like, 'biarlah, at least i don't tiru'. i don't know if she was lying or what cause she likes to do so. plus, my dad says, 'you better start to think of what you want to do cause your science subject punya result teruk'. yeah, i knew i would fail ;D i'll study more this time. 
I PROMISE ;)


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i know i will stay this way until i die. even the worst person i know have confidant. me? i have NONE ;) yeah. i gotta do what i gotta do in life. i cannot keep complaining about what God had given to me. i live that way than :) i know there are days i'll complain like today but thats normal. i have my ups and downs.

ain't workin'

i guess my plan to blog every Friday ain't really working

HAHA

i don't know how to get myself to blog =.=" it's hard cause i'm lazy ;D but i always have something to say. 

ANYWAY

my family and i went to Bintulu last Tuesday. at first, i thought it'll be fun but then my contact lens ruin my thoughts ;D DAMN. my eyes were red & annoying. luckily i brought my shades with me or else i'll look like i've been crying for 10 years. that isn't it =.=" i have runny nose too. gees. how am i supposed to have fun that way? HAHA. seriously. it's good that in Bintulu they have lots of rubbish bin. i almost finished the tissues my mom just bought that day ;D WHATEVER. went to Tumbina & yeah saw animals and all. we went there and came home safely ;)

BY THE WAY

i think i'll be hating this holiday cause it's so BORING. i haven't touch my books yet ;D i don't know if i'll sit for SPM. HAHA. i am just a boring person having boring holidays. i didn't text my friends cause i don't think they want to text me ;D log in to my Facebook is just as boring as blogging. HAK HAK HAK ;D what the hell? 

YEAHHHHHHHH

WHATEVER IT IS 

I AM BORED TO DEATH

maybe i should do my homework or maybe not ;)