A so-called day out.

People have been talking about today's date (11/11/11). Well, what I've heard from a radio station earlier, after going back from the night market, today's date is a good date based on numerology.

Numerology is any study of the purported mystical relationship between a count or measurement and life. It has many systems and traditions and beliefs. (Wiki)

They continued by saying that today's date is a good date to start anew. A new life. They said, if you have problem, they'll find their way out. Your problem, finding their own way out? Seems legit? Lolz I'm sure that's not exactly how they say it. Whatever.

However, I found an article which contradicts to what the radio station had said. It goes like this :

For some, the date has added significance because it is a palindromic number - it reads the same both forward and backward - that occurs only once every 100 years. However, numerologists and astrologers see nothing special in the date. Consultant numerologist Vivek Chopra told TOI people can marry or schedule deliveries on 11/11/11 if it makes them happy, but they should not read too much into the date.

"It's an attractive date, no doubt, but in numerology all digits of the date have to be taken into account; 11/11/11 is actually 11/11/2011. It's a day governed by the planet Venus, but that's about it," said Chopra. Astrologer Kailash Sharma also said, "It's an interesting date and might prove auspicious for many, but there can be no generalization. I have told this to many people who have sought my advice about the day".

It's from The Times of India. Hmm..

Anyways, I have no interest at all to know all that, actually. Just for my or your information, I guess. Alright, because of the unusual & attractive date, I decided to do something different today, but very normal to people. As most of us know, or at least, I know, I've been locking myself inside the house for almost a month. I only go out if I really need to. For instance, going out with my parents or grandparents. I thought of going for a jog this evening, but then, it got ruined by me volunteering to send my brother to school for practice. Why did I volunteer? Because I thought of hanging around the school, smiling at all the memories I left there. And yes, I did that. Just that I limit myself, a lot. I don't know why I didn't set myself free there. I need to fix myself, a little bit more. I can do it. Well, I watched my brother doing the Melanau traditional dance for his D & T cultural night soon, and I find myself enjoying the music. I always do. Traditional music have this thing in them. And what frustrates me all the time is that, I can't dance to it. It's so beautiful. I wish one day, I'll be able to go back to that root. Before I die. Pfft. I find myself smiling alone to the fact that I was there again. All the stupid, retarded, heartache, funny and fun memories came flashing by. That, made me smile.

After, somewhat, smiling all alone like a retarded bitch, I decided to go to the beach. Not to mention that I drove like a maniac. Sigh. I really wanna kill myself, don't I? -_- Coming back to the story, as I reached the beach, it was a shocker to see that not even a handful of people were there. If I was given the chance to look at their face for a minute, I can remember them. Sad that I was left alone there with the awkward moment because I was alone and they were all with their companions. My actual thought was, "They must have thought I am one depressed child or I have lost someone or I am broken-hearted." You see, I have this thing in me that speaks to me. Sometimes, I hate it, but sometimes, I find them hilarious. I managed to hang on for a bit and just sit there watching the water hitting the shore. I want and need to watch sunset, but the car have lighting issues so, I have to go move my arse early. Plus, I was scared when a group of boys came with their motorcycles. They don't look stable, if you know what I mean. My nostalgic moment was crushed. Bummer. And my guts wasn't being helpful at all. My mind kept telling me to just go and do what I wanna do, walk barefoot along the beach, but my guts blew it away. I left, broken-hearted, however, with a little ease in me.

Well, at least I think I did something, no?

If anyone noticed, I tweeted about starting on my 'Before I Die' list on 11/11/11. I did. And the idea of not being here anymore, made me shed tears. Who wouldn't, anyways? It's been awhile since I shed tears. Good thing, no?

Life goes on and I'm going to head back to Shah Alam soon. Bury myself in knowledge. I always wanted to blog about my actual frustration about my result, but never mind, I guess.

P/S:

It ain't high school no more.

Remember when you were in high school and how you don't give a damn about your exam results? All that changes now, little girl. Everything matters. Your assessments, coursework, tests and quizzes. Those are your carry marks which surprisingly will help you out with your finals. What I've learnt is that I shouldn't take all those assessments, coursework, quizzes and tests for granted. Everything I did was considered laid back during Semester 1. I felt like I didn't give my all. People might see the effort I put in, how I stayed up late at night to study, how I refuse to go out, to study, but the input was almost none. What they didn't see was how I sat there, staring at the notes with trillions of things crossing my mind. I had problems which I, myself can't figure what it was. If I ever told this to anyone, none of them would either care or know what to say. So, I pushed myself to the point it was almost useless. Why can't I focus? Why am I sounding like I'm giving everyone excuses for my result? I am not. I just feel like talking about it. I'm just annoyed at how people assuming me to be intelligent when I'm having a hard time trying to study, trying to focus. It's annoying. It really is. Sigh.

LOL that was me being all emotional for no reason -_- Well, I did okay and I get an okay pointer. It just didn't reach my target which is 3.5. Mine is 3.42. I know, I am supposed to be grateful for some people are hoping to get a result like mine, I am grateful, it's just that I have this feeling of, "I should have done better." Normal, I guess. So, what's the point of regretting again? None. No point, lady. Move on. LOL I am moving on, actually. It's just that feeling. That arse. 

Anyways, I've thanked all my lecturers. It was great learning new things. I had fun, I must say. As what one of them had said, hard work always pays. Yes, indeed. And there's this senior who have always encourage me. He always have good stuff to say to me.  I need to learn to listen more. 

All there is to say now is, regret is a waste of time and it only slows down the process of moving on. LOL theory of my own. I ought to try my best, despite all the distraction I'm about to face later on. I should and I need to. I wish myself the best of luck. Please don't disappoint myself, hmm. I'm really worried. What the actual fuck is wrong with me? Oh! No wonder. The cycle. LOL.

LWA01L.

This was our first photo shoot as classmates, but some of my classmates weren't there during this photo shoot. Look at how naive we appeared to be. Pictures can seriously lie, I tell you. Back then, I didn't talk much. I remembered only talking to Nurshahiela Ayu, Izzat Arif and Mohd Mifzal during the first week and the week after that. I was really quiet, don't know for what reason but, insecurities were one of them, for sure. I actually knew Ayu during MDS because we had to perform a dance for the closing and I met Farah Nadirah during the last day of MDS, she borrowed my class time table and asked for my number :) 

Ah, free style! I was really stiff, I swear. All I do was smile and held a fake gun. I was so boring, I know. That was then, alright?  I may still be boring, but it hasn't gotten worse, I guess :/ You can actually spot me at the same spot, with the same smile in all three pictures. God, kill me. LOL

Parlimen Malaysia okay, people! I've been there! This enthusiasm wasn't there during the visit. Now that I've learnt a lot about politics and all, I feel like going again. I know, that sounds stupid :) Brutally honest, I have got not a single idea about politics and stuff like that before this. I was a white virgin piece of cloth until yeah, I studied about it. Good that I could still remember what it was like inside the House of Senate and I still have that blur figure on the inside of House of Representatives. Pfft, I can always Goggle or watch it on TV, can't I? -_-

WAN AZWAN ARIFF & ZAIDI HAMID

Zaidi is our class representative and he's done great job for our class. If you ask him anything (regarding class matters-lah), he'll give you the answer. He really cares about his classmates, I assume :) Plus, he's really talented, alright. He plays the guitar and he sings too! (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2279385278252). Quite impressed there, huh? And you guys need to check out his blog. He writes well :) Please figure that out by yourself, thank you. Okay, the guy by the name Wan is one hilarious guy. I can't even look at him without smiling or worse, laughing! He turns everything into a joke. Seriously. Haha! He's known for skipping class. It's what he do best. Congratulations there, buddy :)  

MAS ASURINA

Le assistant class representative! She might look very delicate to you, but she's very strong in words especially now that she's in the debate team. She's really sweet and nice to you when you are too, towards her. I've been in a group with her and it was nice working with her. She actually made an effort to go with me to PTAR just to discuss on it. And you should know one little secret of hers :) It's not actually a big deal, but she brought her fishes to college, in her room. Haha! She named em' Loli and Baby. Sho shweet >.<

NURSHAHIELA AYU

Whenever people sees me, alone or with somebody else, they'll go like, 'Eh, mana Ayu?', which indicates that we always go everywhere, together.  She's like a sister to me because we always have different views on things and due to that, we pull a face on each other, but at the end of the day, we'll still see each other. Every single day. The best part would be how she stands my annoying-little-sister behavior. Haha! That would be when I asks food from her or when she gives me food. She really took care of me :') No doubt. Period. In addition to all that, she's really smart, alright. 

SANI AZMIN & NAZHATUL ZULAIHA

Ah, ze guy! The only word you'll remember of him is 'awesome' -_- It's not because he's awesome, it's because he thinks he's awesome. LOL no. You are, Sani :) He's a little bit quiet in class and he's always seen around with his Blackberry. Even in pictures, see! He's a great guy, no doubt :) Oh God! Tell me about her. She's random every single second of her life. Hence, the name Atull The Awesome. She's really cool when it comes to skipping classes because nothing can take away her beauty sleep. Even if you knock down her door, she won't budge an inch. But, you'll have all the fun in the world when you're with her. You will laugh, non-stop, when you're with her, I assure you that. Plus, the class would be dull without her and usually you'll be seeing her with her laptop during classes except for Madam Nazida's, du'h.

IZZAT ARIF & MOHD MIFZAL

Ah, this two guys! They're just plain crazy, but, yes there's a but, they're annoyingly brilliant. No matter how much they do not pay attention in class or how they finish their assignments last minute or how spontaneous they be, they always scored the highest or at least second highest. Very much annoying especially Mifzal. He'll be staring at his laptop or his tab during class and still do good -_- Now that he's in the debate team, I don't think I'll dare speaking to him. Uh, why is that? -___- I don't know. Well, there's this one thing that connects us which is Tumblr! Same goes to Izzat. But, Izzat is much closer to me. He's a nice friend, a good one and he's very tolerable towards annoying people (Y). So, you can whine to him all you want! He's been keeping in touch with me since the holidays started. See, he's a nice friend, isn't he? :3

The very particular and loves red, Zafirah Harudin. The ever gorgeous babe with a lot of interesting story to tell with her distinctive style, Wan Fatin Ezureen. Ah, another awesome chick with very spontaneous tweets, Fatin Amirah. 

The inseparable friends, Dina Hazelbella & Diyana Ab Ghani :)

The treasurer of our group, I think, and the husnabaek, Husna Rosland. The calm, as claim by Puan Nazida which I agreed on, and out spoken, Najwa Farhana, A petite and bright, Linda Hakem. A very soft spoken, but have stern views on how some things work, Nor Aida. Ah, another out spoken and loud speaker especially now that she joins the debate team, Sylmeena Hamzah. The sweet and quiet, Zafirah. She always have that blur look on her face, Raisya Nur :)

Ah, Farah Nadhirah, a calm and collected sweetheart <3

Sabihah Shukri, has a stern look on her face, in my opinion, and she's good at doing, 'Ole!' haha never fail to make me laugh when she does that. Anis Izzati, always seen around with a smile on her face and I used to bump into her in college as we stayed on the same level.

Siti Nur Syahirah,  the quiet and seems secretive, to me, girl :)

A cheerful, but quiet Zamzulaika Jupri. 

Ze nice and caring, Atiqah :)

The fun, Fatihah & a very sweet and quiet, Hafizah Jamaludin.

Ah, the four guys from the right. I think they have these undetected issues especially when they're on Facebook. I just do not understand them. Lol. Mohamad Azfarsyah, the tallest if not enormous guy, in the group and he's real good in class. Mohammad Fadhli, has a twin who looks just like him (they called em' twins for a reason, bimbo) and you might die listening to him speaking in English. He got accent! The one who always got bullied, Ahmad Saufi. And the helpful guy, Huzaimi Hussin. I went to Seksyen 17 bus station with him and his friend before a-week-Raya-break and he actually paid the taxi driver and checked on the bus for me. How can that not be helpful? Muahahaha.

You see this post and what's on your mind? ....This stayed in drafts for weeks until I finish it just a while ago. Procrastination get the best out of me, I guess. Oh well, here you go.

 We've been in the same group for a semester and we're going to see each other again the next semester. Cool, no need to be in the 'adapting' mode once we get back. They're really fun to be with, to talk with, to laugh with and to study with :3 I hope every single one of you will succeed in you studies and in life <3 Lots of luck, beautiful people!