And here comes the angel.

I am pretty much screwed up right now. I've been doing some thinking after posting about my scattered brain, you know, about the backing off and stuff. I questioned myself a lot and it seemed like the good side of me outweighed the bad ones. So, yeah, I am willing to suffer all over again. Just so you know that no one deserves a friend like me. I'm gonna make myself forget about everything and just die inside. Hahaha. I'm not playing. For my friends, anything will do. Cause who else do I have? My family doesn't count cause I know they're always there. Sometimes, somewhere deep in my heart, I wish for a friend who I can trust and share my problems with, a friend who can laugh with me without any worries, a friend who tell secrets that no one ever known, a friend who will never left me out in anything, you know the perfect friend. No, I'm not getting any of that cause obviously, I'm not in a movie. Yes, I'm gonna accept the fact and go with the flow. Though it hurts a lot inside. I don't wnat to be emotional bah. What happen to the resolutions I made for this so called new year? This is not a good start, emotionally. I understand there's ups and downs in life. I am trying my best to handle the downs. I just hope the downs don't murder me. That's all. I am sorry for the troubles. Never was it planned. And no, I'm not playing the victim here and I too am not begging for sympathy. Its just what the heart wants to say. Once in a while, its okay to say what you wanna say cause if you don't I'll be seeing you hanging lifeless on a tree. I'm gonna deal with it for the hundredth time. Thanks to my guts.