Scattered brain, literally.

It bothers me that my blog is all about me. Hahaha I know that sounds weird, but that is. I read Obefiend's and oh shit, I love his blog okay? He is born to blog. In my blog, what you see is what you get. I still have difficulties to explain things especially if it requires writing. People nowadays are so smart. In a way that they want to read something heavy, factual and boring. Hahaha To be honest, I hate those kind of reading. Never was it my cup of tea. But, Obefiend is good at making people think out of the box and just question themselves. I don't even care to do that. Hah
aha. I don't know, maybe some of these days I'll suddenly 'fall in love' with heavy reading. Just maybe.


Does the eye see smaller font? Yeah, I don't know what's up with me. I just thought that the bigger font showed how much insecurities I have in me. I mean, it seemed like I wanted everything to be perfect and not screwed. Which in other word is fake cause I am obviously imperfect and screwed. I guess it's time for me to change. I am not going to pretend that I'm okay, cheery or fine. For God's sake, I've done that a lot and it looks like I'm eaten by my insecurities alive. Yes, I've made a decision myself. That is I'm going to back-off from your lives. And by 'your', I mean all of you, my friends. I swear I never feel like I fit in. I swear. There's no point for me to sigh about this anymore. I had enough and I'm done. I know doing this is wrong and it looks like I'm running away from problems, but, mind you, I said I've had enough! When we are at our breaking point, everything is worth doing. Even if it means suicide. Thank God, I am more rational now that I no longer am a close-minded. I know doing this is very close-minded and not rational at all, but again, I'm through this. I can't stand anything anymore. This is the end. I mean every word I say. Please forgive me if any of your plans screwed because of me. I never mean to do all that. And forgive me again if I ever repulse any of you. Again, forgive me if I appeared as fake in your eyes. I tried so hard to be friends with everybody so, I figured I looked fake. Anyway, I know this is going to be the sizzling news among you, but that's what friends do-kan? Yeah :)

Since the 'weather' up there is really damped, I'll talk about this new job I got. I'm not sure yet whether it'll be my part-time job, but at the moment the owner request me to keep coming. Its a nursery and a kindergarten at the same time, so you know there are a lot of kids, annoying and adorable ones. When you look at them at first sight, you'll fall in love, but once you're in the same room with them for 4 hours, we'll be able to see their true colours. Clearly.  Hahaha. Now I know where the serial killers first start their mission. You cannot believe what the kids did. Amirnudin (bukan nama sebenar) have this interest of hitting, pulling hairs and pushing other kids. He's a monster. No, I'm not kidding. He's not afraid of anyone (maybe just me) except for this one fierce with high voice teacher. I don't know what might happen tomorrow, but if he's a real serial killer, he managed to kill a few, several times. Its just cruel in there. You don't wanna be in there. I'm fortunate I have anger management class in my own room. Hahaha. So, I was pretty calm. I managed to 'cure' all the victims. Hahaha and I too saw one potential murderer in there. Oh my! Hahaha. Its kinda funny and scary at the same time. 

The moral of the story is just..